Our walk with Christ is demonstrated to a watching world not only when we submit to authorities outside our homes but also how we submit inside our homes.
Text: 1 Peter 3:1-7
Hosts:
J. Kent Edwards
Vicki Hitzges
Nathan Norman
Narrator: Brian French
The CrossTalk Podcast is a production of CrossTalk Global, equipping biblical communicators, so every culture hears God’s voice. To find out more, or to support the work of this ministry please visit www.crosstalkglobal.org
Produced by Nathan James Norman/Untold Podcast Production
© 2025 CrossTalk Global
Kent: Foreign.
Nathan: Hi, this is Nathan Norman. During the month of July, we're taking a break from recording and bringing you some of our best episodes from the last four years. We'll begin recording new material in August. Until then, enjoy this look back.
Brian: Have you ever noticed how often children resemble their parents? For centuries, people have seen an uncanny resemblance of a child to one or both of their parents. But it wasn't until 1865 that an Augustinian monk named Gregor Mendel found that individual traits are determined by discrete factors, later known as genes, which are developed from the parents. Children are similar to their parents because they are formed by their parents. And what's true physically is also true spiritually. When people accept Christ as their Savior, they are spiritually born again. They become new spiritual creations as the spiritual DNA of their heavenly father takes root in their lives. As Christians mature in Christ, they increasingly look like Jesus. Not physically, of course, but morally. The changes in our behavior cause people to see glimpses of Jesus. Nothing makes us look more like our Savior than when we choose to submit. Last week, Peter pointed out that people see Jesus in us when we submit to those in authority over us. But today, Peter gets more personal. It seems that our new spiritual DNA is demonstrated to a watching world not only when we submit to authorities outside our homes, but also how we submit inside our homes. Let's listen in as Nathan Norman, Kent Edwards, and Vicki Hitskiss look at the second of three Christian behaviors that provide conclusive evidence that the Gospel transforms lives and eternal destinies. Welcome to crosstalk, a Christian podcast whose goal is for us to encourage each other to not only increase our knowledge of the Bible, but to take the next step beyond information into transformation. Our goal is to bring the Bible to life, into all our lives. I'm Brian French. Today, Dr. Kent Edwards, Vicki Hitchkiss, and Nathan Norman continue their discussion through the book of First Peter. If you have a Bible handy, turn to 1 Peter, chapter three, verses one to seven, as we join their discussion.
Kent: Nathan, Vicki, have you seen children that visually resemble their parents in your own families?
Vicki: Oh, my brother's children look just like my brother did when he was little. Yeah, it's cute. It's cute and it's cute. And it's, it's. It's kind of sobering, too.
Kent: Yeah.
Nathan: I knew a guy, he would get up and say, well, science says that half the DNA comes from the husband and half comes from the wife. But if you look at my children, and it's very evident that my DNA beat up my wife's DNA.
Kent: Well, in my case, my wife and I fought to a draw. So we have two boys. Our oldest was actually born on my birthday and he looks exactly like me. When my mother showed me a black and white photo of me when I was a child, I looked at it and said, no, that's Nathan. That's my son. But it was old and black and white and I'm looking at my baby next to me. Frick, he looks just like me. Boy number two came along, looks just like my wife Nola. Just absolutely. We just traded. We played nice with each other, genetically at least.
Nathan: It's so interesting. Well, and with my two natural born children, everyone says they look like my wife. They're like, oh, they look just like Kristen. And they look at me like, I guess I can see something.
Kent: Peter's point in 1 Peter 2:3 is that as human children physically resemble their human parents because they share the same DNA, born again Christians are to behaviorally resemble their Holy Father who is in heaven. Because it seems that at the moment of our conversion, our spiritual DNA changed. We're no longer children of Satan, but we've been born again, become new creations in Christ. And since the Holy Spirit now dwells within us, our lives will naturally radiate holiness. That proves gives evidence that we are children of God. And according to Peter, that holiness validates our faith. To the non Christians who watch our lives, it gives credibility to the gospel. Do you remember last week, Vicki, when we looked at 1 Peter 2, 11:12?
Vicki: I do. It says, dear friends, I urge you as foreigners and exiles to abstain from sinful desires, live such good lives among pagans that they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
Kent: Hmm. So if we live such good lives and people see our good deeds, our holiness, that may mean that they will glorify God on the day he visits us when Jesus returns. What does that mean, to glorify God? What's happened to them? Because they've seen our good deeds, they.
Vicki: Too will become believers.
Kent: Yeah. So what Peter I think is implying here is that our transformed lives showed the validity of the gospel and our holiness was a factor in them coming to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Our lives became evidence that demanded a verdict on the gospel. So today in chapter three, Peter extends the idea of submission, which he emphasized. Previous podcast. He extends it beyond our relationship to outside authorities such as governments and employers. And now he brings it home, literally. I mean, look at what he says in chapter three, verses one to two.
Vicki: It says, wives in the Same way. Oh, yeah. Make me read this. Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. And when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Kent: Wow. So they'll be won over when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Again, the impact of holiness. Right. But, Nathan, I think when Peter says in the same way, I think he's referring to an example set in a larger context. Do you see that?
Nathan: Yeah, I think he's talking about Christ on the cross, the submission of Christ to the cross for our salvation. His passive submission.
Kent: Yeah. And you see that in chapter two, starting in verse 21 and following. I mean, it's pretty clear that as Christ submitted that in the same way, we are to submit. And by the way, who did Christ submit to?
Nathan: Well, he submitted to the will of the Father, but his passive submission, he submitted to the evil work that these men were doing.
Kent: All right, so his submission was not because he thought they were great, he knew they were not great, but in obedience to the Father, he submitted anyway. Right. That's really what he's saying here. It makes me wonder why. Why does Peter ask Christian women to submit to their husbands, even if they're not the world's best husbands? That takes us back, I think, to 1 Peter, chapter 2, 11 and 12.
Nathan: Says, Dear friends, I urge you as foreigners and exiles to abstain from sinful desires, live such good lives among the pagans that though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
Kent: So when we live in submission to others, people can clearly see the character of Christ in us. I think that's because the essence of every sin is selfishness. When we steal, we're selfish. I want it more than you do. When we cheat on our spouse, we're saying, I want physical gratification more than I care about the impact it has on you. When we cheat on exam, we're willing to steal from our credibility and our ethics in order to just get a better mark. The essence of every sin is selfishness. And when we demonstrate unselfishness, when we demonstrate that, we demonstrate the holiness of God. Peter is saying that when wives choose to voluntarily submit their primary desires to their husbands, their husbands see Jesus and they can see the Gospel demonstrated in their own homes. In fact, Peter here contrasts the powerful spiritual influence a wife can have on her husband by submission with the physical influence A wife can exercise over her husband. Isn't that what he's saying? In 1st Peter 3, down to verse.
Vicki: 4, it says, Submit yourselves to your own husband so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornments such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight.
Kent: Let's be honest. A woman's physical appearance strongly influences men. Am I right?
Nathan: What?
Kent: I've never heard of that before.
Nathan: Totally a foreign concept.
Kent: I take it you didn't go to the beach this summer?
Nathan: No, of course. Yeah, absolutely.
Kent: Yeah. Now, women's appearance is striking. Guys are attracted by that. They want to be with women who are beautiful. There's no question.
Nathan: You remember the 90s. There were those Magic Eye pictures all over, everywhere. And you have to look at them weird and cross your eyes. And then you could see the 3D image come out. I had a friend send me this meme, and there's this beautiful woman on the front of it. And then there's like a waterfall in the back. And it says, hey, I don't know how these things work. It says, if you stare at the picture long enough, you'll be able to see a waterfall. But I've been looking at this thing for, like, three hours. I can't see anything. Where's the waterfall? I thought that was hilarious because it certainly highlights the male desire to look at a beautiful woman.
Kent: Right. But Paul's point here to a wife is that as powerful as their lingerie may be, it's far less influential than a posture of submission, of putting husbands ahead of themselves. Is that true? Have you seen that in life?
Vicki: This may be a negative example, but I had a friend who told me that he had a secretary that was married to a very handsome man, and she was very homely. And what made the story interesting to me is this was an old man that I didn't think noticed stuff like that, but he did. And he said she was just ugly. And he was very interested that this handsome man would marry her. But he said as she worked for him, the older man, as she worked for him, he got to know her and he saw how beautiful she was inside. And he said the more he got to know her, the more attractive she became. And he saw a true beauty in her, and she became attractive to him and to everybody around her.
Kent: Wow.
Nathan: Yeah. I remember in the movie the Ten Commandments, there's this scene where whatever Moses's Egyptian main love was, she's trying to seduce him. She's like, what is. What does Zipporah have that I don't have? What does this shepherd farm girl have? Right? And he says, there is a beauty that is beyond beauty that you will never understand.
Kent: Wow.
Nathan: And that always stuck with me. Right. And I mean, obviously, this is Holly. Zipporah is played by a Hollywood starlet. And so she was gorgeous as well. Just, you know, put a little bit of dirt on her to make her look rough and tumble. But. But the idea, the concept was still there that, you know, his. His main squeeze from Egypt, she was a nasty person. She was gorgeous, but she was nasty on the inside, which made her nasty on the outside to him. But. But Zipporah, she. She had a beauty that radiated from within. That made her much more desirable than the desirable Egyptian woman.
Kent: Yeah. And Proverbs. In Proverbs, Solomon warns us against focusing only on the external. And that's for good reason. Let me just pause for a second, though, and ask the objection that may be forming in the lives of our listeners and ourselves. Is there ever time not to submit? Is this a blank statement that women must always do what their husbands want them to do? Is there ever time when that doesn't apply?
Nathan: Yeah, of course. I mean, right? If you're talking about abuse, he's not saying to become a human doormat. Christ's submission wasn't. Well, I guess you guys are gonna do whatever, right? Remember in Luke when the leaders were gonna stone Jesus? He was like, well, I guess that's what's gonna happen, right? He supernaturally walked through them and escaped what they wanted to do. Christ's death on the cross was very intentional. It was not a carte blanche. I'm going to submit myself to all and every abuse. It was very intentional. So I think in cases of abuse, that's not what Peter's getting at here. I think in the broader context of what he's saying is, put on good works, be respectful. Be like the good workers that he talked about last week. So that they see your inner beauty and that attracts them to Christ.
Kent: I think that's why the influence a woman has by submitting in godly appropriate ways clearly reveals the example of Christ, does it not? Right. I mean, Paul outlines Christ's example of sacrifice very clearly in Romans 5, 6.
Nathan: And following Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person, someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Kent: Love is shown in submission. Most clearly, Christ submitted his life to the will of the Father and to the cross because he loved us. That's the clearest explanation and demonstration of his love. Godly women have known that truth and they've practiced it all throughout history. That's why Peter wrote in chapter three, starting in verse five.
Vicki: For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her Lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Kent: Okay, so this is this idea that our submission to our husbands is a sign of godliness that has great effect. That's hard to hear, isn't it?
Vicki: Absolutely it is if you're a woman.
Kent: Yeah.
Vicki: Especially if you got a doofus for a husband. Yeah.
Kent: Right.
Nathan: And I think it's hard for godly husbands to hear because we see where this text gets twisted and warped into this thing where the man is just the guy, right? And he's a dictator and you've got to do what I say. And that is absolutely not the vision that Peter is giving here.
Kent: No, I agree, Nathan. It sounds like the old TV show. Sounds like Archie Bunker. I mean, this guy just looks like it sounds like women are asked to live in a terrible environment and just allow their husbands to do whatever they want without any concern for them. But that is not what Peter says. So he starts with women, but he continues. And not as many words, but perhaps just as forcefully. He brings in balance, starting in verse seven, doesn't he, husbands?
Vicki: Now he's going to take on the men in the same way. Be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Nathan: Okay, so this is another hard text that often gets twisted, right? To say exactly the opposite of what he's saying. So we have to break this down, right?
Kent: Yeah, we do. So when we do. And it says in the same way husbands. In the same way. In the same way as what? Everything.
Nathan: He just told the wives.
Kent: Ah. That they are to submit as Christ submitted.
Nathan: Right.
Kent: That their behavior can lead to spiritual transformation of their spouse.
Nathan: Yes.
Kent: Oh, Has Christ submitted to the will of the Father? They are to submit to the will of their wife.
Nathan: Yep.
Kent: He's not talking about mutual submission, is he? What?
Nathan: That just sounds downright biblical.
Kent: In the same way that your wife is to act this way to you and submit to you, you are to. It says, be considerate as you live with your wives. What does that mean? He uses the word considerate, but what does that mean?
Nathan: You consider her, right? You put her wants, needs, and desires ahead of your own.
Kent: Huh? So you would be careful what plans you made to make sure that they were in your wife's best interest. You'd make future decisions that way. You'd choose your daily activities that way. Everything you do, you would do with the best interests of your wife at hand. Right?
Nathan: If it drives her crazy that you leave your wet, dirty socks on the bed and she asks you not to personal, you don't do that. I'm using that as an example. Not because I do that, because that is gross, but I'm using that as an example because there are Christians on Twitter, and I've seen videos where they. They again, twist this text and think that the man needs to be like this overbearing guerrilla dictator, and the wives need to just take it. And. And. And there is this woman. She's given this testimony, and she's like, you know what? I asked him not to do that. And he says, no, I'm going to do that. And I did. And our marriage is so much better because of it. And it's like, no, that's not what Peter says. That's not what he says. Be considerate.
Kent: Yeah. And even to go beyond dirty socks, doesn't this also apply to our sexuality?
Nathan: Well, stop getting difficult and hard here.
Kent: It means that we have to be as men, as we are not necessarily prone to be, always to be considerate of the needs of our wives. So in the same way that we want our wives to be considerate of us, we have to be equally as considerate of them. Sorry about that, guys, but that's what happens when you study the Bible. He says, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect, a greater honor. Because they're the weaker partner.
Nathan: In some ways, that means physically weaker. I mean, in general, women and men are built. Well, no, in specific, men and women are physically different. And all things being equal, men are physically stronger. This has nothing to do with their spirituality, which often gets twisted like, oh, women. Women are the weaker Christians.
Kent: And it's like, no, no, no.
Nathan: Name me all the prayer warriors, you know, and I'm gonna say, you know, 99% of those are women, right? The ones who've prayed people into salvation, the ones who've prayed for the sick to be healed, they're often the women. So it is not saying that women are kind of like second rate Christians or anything. He's just saying, husbands, your wife's got some heavy groceries to carry in. You should go and help her.
Kent: Not to get too personal, but, Vicki, I see that played out in the life of your parents. I loved your dad, and he is a spiritual giant and he's my mentor and I learned so much. I'm so indebted to him. But, boy, did we learn from your mother as well. Very different gifts, very different personalities.
Vicki: Well, that's so interesting that you went with my mother, because I saw this with my mother. Finish what you were going to say.
Kent: Well, I know that your dad on occasion said when he had resigned from Denver Seminary, he told them, yeah, I'm leaving as the president. But the person you're really going to miss is Bonnie because she had a personal influence on people individually that. Yeah, you know, your dad didn't have the same influence. He had it in different ways. Your mother was more like my wife. Your mother would come alongside dad and just say, oh, you remember the so and so's and the so and so's and so you knew who their name was. And that's the Nathan. Nola does that to me. No, we are partners in ministry. Your dad and your mother were partners in ministry. And they could never have had the influence that they had if they hadn't had each other. And I say that with my wife. There's no way I could have accomplished what I have without Nola there. God brought us together supernaturally, and I'm so glad he did. Her gifts and strengths are not mine. Praise the Lord. And I need her in order to accomplish God's, God's work in my life. I need her. And that's, I think, what he's saying. Treat them with respect. They're not physically perhaps as strong, but they are fully participating in your life and ministry because they are heirs with you of the gracious gift of life. Who? Now, what does that mean? They are fellow heirs of the gift of life. This goes to your point you made earlier.
Nathan: It's right back at the beginning of this book where you have an inheritance that won't fade. They get the same inheritance you do. They are co laborers. They will co rule along with you in the new Heaven and new earth. They got the same thing you got.
Kent: They have equal status, right? Yep. They are completely equal joint partners. Men are not inherently superior to women and vice versa.
Nathan: Their name is on the same level of the letterhead as yours.
Kent: So what's Peter saying? He's saying that submission is a sign of the Christian faith. In the outside of the home. It looks like we submit to those put in authority over us, whether they be governing officials, whether they be our bosses, those that God has placed in authority over us, we listen to them because as we do, we are living counterculturally. And people see Jesus in us. They wonder what the difference is. And then we can tell them the gospel and they believe it, because our lives are evidence of God's work in our life. But that also applies inside the home. It means that as women wives, they submit to their husbands, putting their needs ahead of their own. And as they do that, husbands simultaneously do the same thing. So maybe there's a little bit of competition going on in the home. Who can please the other more, who can take their partner more seriously and defer to them more completely? Husbands to wives or wives to husbands. When we act unselfishly, with authority over us and with our husbands or wives, people see Jesus. Our behavior, our submissive behavior, is evidence of the transforming power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And when we do so, we are not speaking the gospel, but we are publicly living the gospel. And that is a powerful witness for the world. Friends, let's live such good lives among the pagans that though they accuse us of doing wrong, they may see our unselfish good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
Brian: How can we show our persecutors we are believers in such a way they know it by the way we love and submit to our spouses. I trust that today's discussion of God's Word has been helpful and served as an encouragement to not just be hearers of the Word, but but doers together. Let's bring God's Word to life, to our lives. This week, the crosstalk Podcast is a production of crosstalk Global equipping biblical communicators so every culture hears God's voice. To find out more about this educational nonprofit organization, please visit www.crosstalkglobal.org. you can also support this show by rating it on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're finding it. Be sure to listen next Friday as we continue our discussion of First Peter. You won't want to miss it.