Why does God give some people gifts and not others?
Text: Matthew 15:21-16:12
Hosts:
J. Kent Edwards
Vicki Hitzges
Nathan Norman
Narrator: Brian French
The CrossTalk Podcast is a production of CrossTalk Global, equipping biblical communicators, so every culture hears God’s voice. To find out more, or to support the work of this ministry please visit www.crosstalkglobal.org
Produced by Nathan James Norman/Untold Podcast Production
© 2024 CrossTalk Global
Brian: There's a magical moment when you receive a gift. The anticipation, the wonder, the childlike joy that fills your heart. No matter who you are, where you're from, or what language you speak. This is a universal human experience. But have you ever wondered why we give gifts? Psychologists suggest several surprising reasons. Reason number one Altruism. Gifts give us a sense of fulfillment. Sometimes we give because it makes us feel better. Reason number two Impression management. Gifts can be a way to burnish our image. Sometimes we give because it makes us look good. Reason 3 Reciprocity. Gifts can make people feel obligated. Sometimes we give a gift knowing we will get one in return. Reason number four Relationship maintenance. Gifts are effective in helping maintain meaningful relationships. Sometimes we give gifts because we want to preserve a friendship. Since all four of these reasons for giving suggest a selfish motivation, I wonder why God gives gifts. Since we know God is not selfish, why does he choose to give gifts to some people and not others? What's his motivation? Join Vicki Hitzkiss, Kent Edwards and Nathan Norman as they try to discover why and to whom God gives His gifts. Welcome to crosstalk, a Christian podcast whose goal is for us to encourage each other to not only increase our knowledge of the Bible, but to take the next step beyond information into transformation. Our goal is to bring the Bible to life, into all our lives. I'm Brian French. Today Dr. Kent Edwards, Vicki Hitzkiss and Nathan Norman continue their discussion through the Gospel of Matthew. If you have a Bible handy, turn to Matthew, chapter 15, verse 21, to chapter 16, verse 12. As we joined their discussion.
Kent: Vicki Nathan, was gift giving significant in your families growing up and is it still today?
Vicki: Not as much as other families. The way we showed love in my family was to spend significant time together, but my mother always made sure that we had wonderful Christmases.
Kent: Wow.
Nathan: Yeah, it was similar to Vicki. It was important and somewhat significant in our family to give presents and gifts to each other, but it wasn't too high. Now fast forward to when I started dating and then married my wife. Her family is absolutely bonkers for presents. It is just out of this world. Unreal the level of gift giving that they give and receive during the holiday season. Yeah, I, I don't even know what to do with it. I'm overwhelmed always.
Kent: Well, I have to admit that in terms of gift giving, my wife is far better than me. She is so thoughtful that when it comes to days like Easter, she'll put gifts together and send them off to the kids that are theme oriented. Same thing obviously, for their Birthdays, the same thing for Christmas, even Thanksgiving or Halloween or whatever, whatever. There's an excuse to be able to demonstrate that she's thinking of them and caring for them. She sends custom made care packages to them. And it takes time. I mean, I get dragged around from store to store looking for something that will be specifically meaningful for them, not just generic. So yeah, I think I'm impressed by the way that my wife loves to show her love by gift giving. Okay, next question though. Have there been times when some of the reasons Brian mentioned earlier, some of the selfish reasons for giving gifts, have they ever played a factor in your gift giving confession time?
Nathan: Almost exclusively? No, no, no. But it is this game, for lack of a better term, right? Like, oh, we gotta give this cousin something because we got that cousin something else and we know that they're gonna give us a present, so we've gotta turn around and give them a present in return. And it is hard. You know, I'll tell you, with my older brother, he is a phenomenal gift giver. Really, he is so phenomenal. His gifts, they're not consistent. But when he gives a gift, it is incre. Thoughtful to the t, to the letter and to the point where it's like, I hate getting him gifts because I have like. I'm like, man, I am a terrible brother. I have no clue what to get you. And whatever he gets is just like, wow, this, you know me. I mean, he went to France when he was in high school, he came back, he got me a stone gargoyle and a semi realistic crossbow, right?
Kent: Wow.
Nathan: None of you would ever think of that. And I'm just, wow, that was so thoughtful.
Vicki: Boy, he must know you if that made you happy.
Nathan: It still makes me happy 20 plus years later, 25 years later.
Vicki: That is the test of a good gift. I know a guy who, he buys me exactly what I want. And it is a joy to open those gifts just because he is so thoughtful. And my sister in law is like that. When my brother and sister in law first got married, they were just fresh out of seminary and they didn't have any money. But she would pick out not expensive gifts, but just the right gift. And it would delight me in a way that a very expensive gift might not.
Kent: In Matthew, chapter 15, starting in verse 21 through to chapter 1612, we're going to look at three separate scenes, these scenes that display God's motivation in giving gifts to some people and not others. Let's see if we can figure out who God gives gifts to and who he doesn't and why.
Vicki: Okay, here's scene one, verse 21. Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, lord, son of David, have mercy on me. My daughter is demon possessed and suffering terribly. Jesus did not utter a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.
Kent: Wow, this is a pretty significant request for a gift, wasn't it?
Nathan: Absolutely. Your child is demon possessed. I mean, if you've ever seen anything remotely supernatural like that, it's horrifying. And even worse to see it to your own child.
Kent: Yeah. I remember years ago being in southern India, speaking at a large conference, and they had a whole section. There were thousands and thousands of people there, but they had a whole section of this church cordoned off for people who were demon possessed.
Vicki: A section of a church?
Kent: Yeah.
Vicki: I was surprised they came to church.
Kent: Well, they came or brought. I don't know their motivation, but to go over with the president of the denomination and see this one particular woman writhing on the ground, speaking with a voice that was not her own, out of control was scary, to say the least.
Vicki: I bet.
Kent: And I can't imagine the angst that this girl's mother must have had. You know, it seems like it's been going on for a long time. It wasn't a temporary thing. But it's even more surprising because not only did was this a woman coming to ask for favor from a man, which might have been slightly atypical, but this was a Canaanite woman. I mean, that's significant in itself, isn't it, Nathan? Right.
Nathan: Canaanites. I mean, they were the people all the way back in Genesis and all through Joshua that were to be cast out from the promised land. Their deeds were so evil that often it was underreported what they did in the Bible, lest we get ideas from their depravity. Right, so Canaan goes all the way back to Genesis 6. After the flood, his father dishonored Noah by looking at his father, his nudity, and at his drunken naked body. And instead of doing the normal thing, as a normal person would do, if they saw their parent naked, going ugh. And never speak of it again, he did what's abnormal? And said to his brothers, hey, guys, come check it out, right? Which is just really, I mean, absolutely perverse, really gross. So Ham sees this, and then you imagine if that level perversion doesn't change. It grows into his son Canaan, and his ancestors Become even worse. I mean, it's not, you know, nude voyeurism isn't the absolute worst thing. It's pretty perverted, but it's not the worst thing in the world. But that's how you get the Canaanites. It becomes more and more increasingly perverse to the point where God tells Israel to wipe them out because they're perverse to the land. Literally. It says in the Bible that the land vomited them out. They introduced BAAL worship, which that's X rated commentary if you want to know what that involved, and encouraged the Israelites to practice ritual sex with temple prostitutes. This is where you saw Elijah do battles with the prophet of BAAL on the prophets of BAAL on Mount Carmel. So this, you know, so this text is kind of setting us up here. Like this is a person from a pretty perverse group of people.
Kent: Not her lineage is not in her favor.
Nathan: No, no. The mortal enemies of Israel, they would often tempt Israel to fall away from the one true God.
Kent: Yeah, I get that. But what is surprising to me is Jesus says in verse 28, your request is granted. And her daughter was healed at that moment. I mean, the question in my mind is, why did Jesus give this kind of woman this great a gift? I mean, what did she do to deserve this gift?
Nathan: Right. Well, and the normal response would be the disciples because they said, send her away. She keeps crying out after us, do you know what kind of person she is? Do you know what her lineage is? Just get rid of her. And if we're being truly honest with ourselves, someone from that kind of background, we would say the same thing. We would do the same thing.
Kent: Yeah, yeah. Well, and I asked the same question when we come to scene number two.
Vicki: Okay, here's scene number two. Jesus left there and went along the Sea of Galilee and then he went up to a mountainside and sat down and great crowds came to him, bringing the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute, and many others and laid them at his feet and he healed them.
Kent: Well, that's pretty good. There's nothing quite so wonderful as getting free health care. We all live in the United States and the price of health care is enormous. In fact, when people come to retirement age, that's often a major factor. Can you actually afford to retire? Because thousands and thousands of dollars paid every month just to have health insurance is enormous.
Nathan: I go to pick up my kids prescriptions now and I don't have a copay, which is fun, but that's because of the tens of thousands of dollars I've already spent this year. It's just a reminder that I would have been that much more richer had I not met my deductible.
Kent: Someone can correct me. But as far as I understand, America has some of the highest cost for healthcare anywhere in the world. And if that's bad, what's even worse is if there's no health care available. And in many parts of the world, there is no healthcare. You get a toothache and you can't get it stopped, someone's got to get a rock and knock your tooth out. I mean, that's not fun. If you get a lump in your chest and it seems that it is cancer, you just kind of wait till you die. There are no options. So there was no universal health care in Israel at this time. And these people came because they had desperate health needs. And Jesus says, hey, I'll do it. No problem. And that's not all. Not only does he give them free health care, but it goes on. Look what he does next.
Vicki: It says, Jesus called his disciples to him and said, I have compassion for these people. They've already been with me three days, and they have. Imagine this. And they have nothing to eat.
Kent: Wow.
Vicki: I do not want to send them away hungry or they may collapse on the way. And then he took the seven loaves and the fish, and when he had given thanks, he broke them and gave them to the disciples. And they, in turn, to the people. They all ate and were satisfied. The number of those who ate were 4,000 men, besides the women and children.
Kent: Okay, so as we record this podcast, where we live. Thanksgiving is coming soon. Is it a big deal to put on Thanksgiving for an extended Thanksgiving dinner for an extended family?
Nathan: Sure is. Lots of stress, lots of preparation.
Kent: Gotta go to the grocery store. How big a turkey could you get? What about the vegetables? What about the desserts? On and on it goes.
Nathan: What about the people who have food allergies or they have different food preferences and they can't have this, they can't have that. This can't mix with that. Yep, yep. It's a big deal.
Kent: So what's the biggest crowd you've ever had for Thanksgiving?
Vicki: Oh, I don't usually do Thanksgiving, but if I have more than six, I get stressed. If I have more than eight, I get people to bring stuff. It's just too much. Or I would do a buffet. It's just too much.
Nathan: We have participated in family gatherings at about 35, I think is the max, which is massive.
Kent: Yeah. And how many people showed up for this dinner?
Nathan: Like 8,000.
Vicki: At least 8,000. Because they didn't even count the women, which is awfully sexist. And then. And they don't mention the children.
Nathan: It's a little sexist. It is a little sexist. However, just to be fair to the ancient writers who are counting, physiologically speaking, men tended to be taller than the women. And so it was an ancient practice. Just count the men and note whether there are women and children there, because you're kind of doing a head count. It's easier to count the taller people. Still a little sexist. I'm not arguing that, but it was a typical historical way to. To count back then.
Kent: I haven't heard that. I'll try to believe it.
Vicki: Yeah, me too.
Kent: No, but this is a huge gift that he's giving these people. And they didn't even ask for it. Right. They came for healing. And Jesus just said, look, I want to give you more. I care about you. I'm going to give you the gift of food. So you all leave the nourishment you need to get on with your life. That's real caring. Wow, God, he's a gift giver. But now look at scene three, bit of a turn here.
Vicki: Chapter 16, verse one. The Pharisees and the Sadducees came to Jesus, asking him to show them a sign from heaven. A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a sign, but none will be given it except a sign of Jonah. Jesus then left them and went away.
Kent: Wow. That's a bit different, isn't it? Why did Jesus refuse to give the religious professional the gift of a sign from heaven? I mean, he gave gifts to the others. Why is he being reluctant now? In fact, more than reluctant, he's upset.
Vicki: Well, there's a big difference. In the first two groups, they both had faith. The Canaanite woman, she was somebody that could have been shunned, but she came and she wanted her daughter healed. And she had faith that Jesus could and would do it. And then these crowds sat for three days, and they were blind and crippled. And they came and they thought he might heal them. And he did. But then these religious leaders show us a sign. And he was like, no, I don't want anything to do with you. I see a big difference there.
Kent: I think you're right. If we go back and look more carefully at the first scene, look at what the woman says when she comes to Jesus.
Nathan: A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him crying out, lord, son of David, have mercy on me. He answered, I was sent Only to the lost sheep of Israel. The woman came and knelt before him. Lord, help me, she said. Jesus replied, it is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to the dogs. Yes, it is, Lord, she said, even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master stable. Then Jesus said to her, woman, you have great faith. Your request is granted. And her daughter was healed at that moment.
Kent: Wow. Now, as we read that passage in its fullness, it becomes much more clear. She calls Jesus what, Lord?
Vicki: Son of David.
Nathan: Master.
Kent: Yeah. She's recognizing that he is the Messiah. And when Jesus is a little bit reluctant, a little bit maybe sounds a bit harsh, at least to our ears, it's not right to take the children's bread and toss it to the dogs. Ooh. He's acknowledging her Canaanite background. Right, Right.
Nathan: Well, so, I mean, this is. It was probably harsher for her because she's probably not actually a Canaanite. Those were mostly wiped out. She's. She's likely like a Samaritan, Right. Who is related over here. They're calling her a Canaanite, which is horrendous. They're like, oh, that's Samaritan. Oh, she's basically a Canaanite. Those Samaritans are basically like the absolute worst of humanity. Right. And so there's that. That the text is saying, oh, yeah, this is the distance. And then Jesus, he calls her a dog. I've heard sermons where they'll say, oh, you know, he said, oh, your little puppy. No, there was no context there. No, it's essentially an ethnic slur. And I think what Jesus is saying. Don't you know that there is a immovable distance between your people and ours? There is a barrier that cannot be crossed. And she's like, yeah, but the dogs. She doesn't even argue on them. Yeah, there is a barrier, but can I even have the crumbs from the table? Yeah. So she said, her faith is absolutely incredible.
Kent: I know I don't deserve it, but I know that you care even about people like me. And I'm coming to you because I am in need. Will you help me? Her attitude. How would you describe her attitude?
Vicki: Very humble, desperate, Extraordinary.
Nathan: Yeah, yeah.
Kent: And reverential. Humble and desperate and reverential to Jesus. There's absolutely no question.
Nathan: Yeah. She doesn't even argue with him. We're not dogs. We matter. Which. She would totally be justified to have that argument, but she does it. She's so desperate and so humble and knows that Jesus has the power that she's willing to just forego that and say, okay, fine, give me what you got.
Kent: Yeah. Let's look at scene two in more detail.
Vicki: Okay. Jesus went up on the mountainside and sat down. Great crowds came to him, bringing the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute and many others and laid them at his feet.
Kent: That's fascinating. Jesus went up in a mountainside and sat down. That's very significant. It's significant because unlike our culture, if someone wants to say something important, they typically stand up. They get behind a podium, they're on their feet. But in the ancient world, the sign of authority was to sit down and teach. And when you sat down, you were speaking with authority. We get a glimpse of that a little bit in our academic settings. I know that a good friend of mine, Dr. Jeffrey Arthur's, occupies the Haddon W. Robinson Chair of Preaching and Communication. So a nod to your father, Vicki. It's a big deal because you're not just a regular faculty. You occupy the chair. You have authority. It is funded. It is critical to the mission of the school. That's a big deal. Jesus sat down authority and the crowds came to him, bringing the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute and many others and laid them at his feet. What's the significance of them bringing the needy and laying them at his feet?
Nathan: It is almost a sign of contrition or offering humility. Like Vicki had said about the previous scene, they're coming in faith. They're not coming as equals.
Kent: No.
Nathan: If you are at someone's feet, you are the subordinate.
Kent: So if I have someone who is crippled and I climb up to the top of the mountain where Jesus is seated in authority, that's a lot of work, isn't it?
Vicki: I would think so. To take somebody.
Kent: Yeah. I mean, all these people went to great lengths and great difficulty to bring their needy family members or friends to Jesus feet. That's faith. And say, I wonder if it's worth it. I know it's worth it, and I'm coming not to demand, but lay them at his feet. Because they knew his character and they knew he was the Messiah that John the Baptist had preached about. Scene number three is very different. While the others came with humility and acknowledgement of Jesus stature, we see something very different in chapter 16, verse 1. The verse I had you read earlier, Vicki, was not quite complete. Let's read the full version now.
Vicki: Okay. It says, the Pharisees and the Sadducees came to Jesus and tested him by asking him to show them a sign from Heaven.
Kent: Ah, so their motivation was entirely different. They were testing him. Matthew tells us that word means to obtain information to be used against a person by trying to cause someone to make a mistake or to trap them in their words so that they would be discredited. But yeah, it reminds me of courtroom situation where the lawyer will ask a question, trying to get someone to inadvertently reveal a detail that can be used against them and they can be found guilty. It's not a casual conversation between friends. It's not a respectful conversation. It's deliberately trying to injure Jesus reputation to show him to be a fraud. These guys did not come in faith. They did not come in humility. They came with evil motives to discredit Jesus to see if they could find some evidence they could show others that he was not the Messiah prophesied by John the Baptist. They came in arrogance. They came in rebellion. They came with stiff necks, not bended knees. And Jesus says, no, Jesus will not be treated as a magician, a showman, and or an entertainer. In fact, Jesus says to these men, a wicked and adulterous generation looks for a miraculous sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah. And Jesus left them and went away. That's quite a different response. It seems that those who come to Jesus with evil intent and make requests of him and attempt to discredit him will be exposed as the wicked and adulterous people they are. It's happened in the past. Satan did just that. He tried to manipulate Jesus with his evil request. In Matthew 4, the first temptation in the wilderness after fasting for 40 days, Jesus was hungry and the tempter came to him and said, what?
Vicki: If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.
Kent: If you are the Son of God, see that temptation. Prove it. Make it. And as we saw earlier in our earlier podcasts, Jesus was in a fast. He was fasting, relying on the Holy Spirit to assist him. In that time, if he had taken Satan's bait, it would have hurt him. It would have been harmful to him. Matthew 4 Again, in the next one and the next temptation, he tries the same trick in a different way.
Vicki: He took him up, the devil, took him up to the highest point of the temple and said, if you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written, he will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands. And Jesus answered, it is also written, do not put the Lord your God to the test.
Kent: Yeah, if you are the Son of God, this is not coming in faith. This is not coming in humility. This is coming as an antagonist to try and get Jesus to do something that is not in his best interest. And we not only see it at the beginning of Jesus ministry, we see the same tactic being used at the end of his ministry. We're going to see in Matthew 27, starting in verse 38, says, Two rebels.
Nathan: Were crucified with Jesus. Those who passed by hurled insults, saying, you who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself. Come down from the cross if you are the Son of God. The teachers of the law and elders mocked him. He saved others, they said, but he can't save himself. Let him come down now from the cross and we will believe in Him. He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him. For he said, I am the Son of God.
Kent: In each of these instances, people are coming asking Jesus to do a miracle, demanding, not out of humility, not recognizing who Jesus is. They're coming, trying to trap him. Because if he would have given in to their insults and had come down from the cross and had jumped off the temple and had eaten the bread, that would have had terrible consequences for his ministry. Why does Jesus sometimes choose to intervene miraculously for some people and not others? He only intervenes when it draws people closer to himself. The miracle that he did with the Canaanite woman, I have no doubt that her life was transformed as she came closer as a result of Jesus intervention to him. Likewise, the people on the mountain, I think they and their families were transformed. We serve a loving God who delights in giving his children good gifts. But those who come to him with animosity in their hearts, disbelief in their heads, and make insulting requests in an attempt to sully Jesus reputation, they will be rewarded with his wrath. God will not be manipulated. Who does God give His gifts to? Those who love Him. Those who submit to him, who come in faith and ask for a good gift, knowing that he is a good God who loves to give gifts. And as a result, their relationship with him grows and is nurtured. But be aware, God will not be manipulated. We are wise to remember James. God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
Brian: It is good to ask God to intervene in our lives. Let's reorient our prayers and not only ask him for help, but for the help God provides to lead people to Jesus. I trust that today's discussion of God's Word has been helpful and served as an encouragement to not just be hearers of the Word, but doers together. Let's bring God's word to life to our lives. This week, the crosstalk podcast is a production of crosstalk Global, equipping biblical communicators so every culture hears God's voice. To find out more or to support the work of this ministry, please visit www.crosstalkglobal.org. we're headed to Moldova this week, located right next to Ukraine. Help us train the next generation of biblical communicators. All you have to do is click Donate in the show notes and make a donation of any size. You can also support this show by sharing it on social media and telling your friends. Tune in next Friday as we revisit this text to discover what Jesus meant by the sign of Jonah. Be sure to join us.
Nathan: 3. Reciprocity gifts can make people feel obligated Sometimes we give a gift knowing we will get one in return. Hey, welcome to American Christmas. Four Relationship maintenance Gifts are effective in helping maintain meaningful relationship relationships. Sometimes we give gifts because we want to preserve a friendship. No one gives me gifts for that reason. I'm sure I never get anything. No one wants to be friends with me. It's all for these reasons.
Kent: It's taking you a long time to.
Nathan: Realize they have this, but I'm having an existential crisis. I'm gonna have to leave this podcast.
Kent: As a person who's 6 foot 6, I like to know that I can at least stand out.
Nathan: We had one person. One person showed up and his name was Kent Edwards.
Kent: It's guys.
Nathan: It's Roug traveling around with Kent, right? Because you travel around the world and you're like, okay, I'm not the shortest person in the world. But then you're next to him, and it's like, nobody's looking at you. They're like, wow, look at the giant there.
Kent: But it is kind of disconcerting. Everyone calls, says, I'm tall. No one ever says good looking. And I can't figure that out. It still is a mystery to me. Reminds me a little bit of a courtroom situation, doesn't it? No good examples of Perry Mason. No.
Nathan: Wow, that's dated. Listen, my Perry Mason defeated Godzilla.
Kent: Okay, Matlock, Matlock.
Nathan: Just get a little more contemporary.
Kent: Hey, a new version just came out.
Nathan: It's not good.
Kent: We like it.
Nathan: So that's because I only watched where.
Kent: The older audience said they're trying to reach.
Nathan: Okay, I'm sorry, derailing is here. I grew up watching reruns of Matlock, the original, and loved it. And my older brother liked Murder, She Wrote so he had this thing going like, this one's better than the other. And my brother's big argument was that Murder She Wrote was better because she's not a lawyer. So she's not trained for this. And yet she still solves all these murders. Right. Now, of course, as an adult, I would come back and say, yeah, and imagine if she'd go and get educated, how much better she would be. What hubris. To not. Also, don't be her friend because you're going to get murdered.
Kent: Yeah. Have you seen the. Have you watched the new version of Matlock?
Nathan: Only I think I watched half of the first one. The pilot episode. Right. At this point, I have almost no time to watch anything. So unless it blows away my life.
Kent: I'm like, yeah, it's kind of cute. It's a good twist. And what I like is how older women are always ignored. She takes advantage of.
Nathan: Hold on. Take that out of context. We're going to put that on social media. What I like is how older women are always ignored.
Kent: I like that she exploits that in the show, is what I meant.
Nathan: Yes. Yes. I love that. That's what should happen.